Lakers Guard Kobe Bryant has been sued by an Arkansas fan who said Kobe elbowed him during a game against Memphis Grizzlies.

The so-called 3-page “federal lawsuit” claims:

“Bryant came off the court during play, landed on Geeslin and ‘without provocation’ committed assault and battery when he struck Geeslin with his elbow.”

This is bogus. I haven’t even heard much about this in the news so it must’ve been pretty, um, unimportant. Cuz if it was “intentional” it wouldn’ve been all over the news. So c’mon now, I can tell you this guy is a moron for many reasons. First of all, he waited a whole year to finally file a claim. Was it before or after the Lakers came to Memphis? He was probably at the game and then he remembered, “Wait, didn’t that dude elbow me? I’m gonna sue him while he’s in town!” Second, he must’ve gotten really good seats, so close that he can come in contact with the players. So what did he expect? Body contact is bound to happen. I’ve seen Shaq body-slaming, diving into fans, kicking people in their face and never heard complaints. Involuntary accidents like this are expected at the games. Thirdly, there are fans who were at that particular game themselves who said they never saw any incident like that at all. So, my verdict? Go home and play your guitar down the street because you’ll be more likely to earn some booze money that way than suing an NBA superstar.