There’s a new alternative for lying to your wife: Lying to the cops!

A German cyclist lied to police about being mugged because he was afraid to tell his wife the truth: he rode into a lamppost while drunk and injured himself. The man, 30, called police and said he had been mugged by six youths while walking home. “He said he beat off two of them, and that the rest fled through bushes behind the pavement,” Peter Grimm, a spokesman for police in the southern town of Schwabach, said on Thursday. Police became suspicious after finding a wire fence behind the bushes and, Grimm said, the man then “admitted he had made it all up as a cover story because he was afraid of his wife”. He now faces charges for being drunk while in charge of a bicycle and faking a crime. Police had carried out a blood test that proved he was drunk when they first interviewed him.

His wife must be a monster for this guy to be this scared to tell her what really happened. I mean, he’d rather take chances with lying to the police then just simply be honest with his own wife. What she gonna do, spank him? Geez. It’s not like he went to a strip club and had sex with the strippers. It’s a friggin’ bicycle accident for crying out loud. It’s kinda funny, actually.