If I have to watch this stupid Jessica Simpson DirecTV commercial one more time, I’m really going to start shoving a fork in my eyes. Well, maybe not my eyes, as I need them to see how ridiculous and annoying she is, with that trashy accent that makes her sound like she’s one of those dirty scumbags on Jerry Springer.
“I totally don’t know what that means but I want it.” Of course you don’t, cuz you’re that stupid. For all you know, she could be eating a chihuahua because it sounds like an item on the Taco Bell menu or a “shamu” because she thinks it’s a type of sushi.
Anyway, those writers for this commercial are pure geniuses for making her look and sound dumber than ever. The only question I have is - why does she have to talk and waver her body side-to-side like she’s got Parkinsons Disease?
Oh, and who could forget this moment when she couldn’t read or remember her lines and ended up with “my mua my my muh ugh my mugh blegh ugh ugh” - I mean, even a sea lion sounds better than that. And of course, she went and said, “That’s typical Jessica.” There you have it, America. Jessica Simpson admitted she’s a retard.
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