Why Paris Hilton is smoking a tampon in this picture is completely incomprehensible. But in Paris’s world, it’s as comprehensible as doing it with chimpanzees. Nobody really tries to understand why she does what she does anymore. It’s like she could be sky-diving with 5 elephants off of a rock and we would just be like, “Whatever.”

Page Six also exposed many more of Parasite’s secrets, revealing all the crap she packed up in the storage which got sold to someone else because she couldn’t pay the storage bill.

-Prescription bottles for Hydrocodone, a painkiller similar to OxyContin used to manage anxiety disorders, post-party sleep aid Ambien and the herpes medication Valtrex.
-A medical bill from a Los Angeles clinic, billing an “Amber Taylor” - with the same birth date as Paris - for a miscarriage in March 2003.
-A journal analyzing her booze-fueled dreams.
-Her reality TV co-star Nicole Richie’s University of Arizona ID card.
-Sister Nicky’s Nevada marriage certificate.
-Several bank statements, including one with an ending monthly balance of just $9.26.
-Home videos she shot of visits with her sick grandmother.

You know what’s sad? None of this surprises you. It’s only a matter of time before Valtrex stops working for her and her doctor just gives up all hope.