Who wants to name your kid Metallica?

Michael and Karolina Tomaro are locked in a court battle with Swedish authorities, which rejected their application to name their six-month-old child after the legendary rock band. “It suits her,” Karolina Tomaro, 27, said Tuesday of the name. “She’s decisive and she knows what she wants.” Although little Metallica has already been baptized, the Swedish National Tax Board refused to register the name, saying it was associated with both the rock group and the word “metal.”

What the hell? I didn’t know you’d have to go through the legal system like this just to name your kid to whatever the heck you want. Who cares if it’s a band name. If the parents think it’s cool, then just let it be. But c’mon now. I just feel sorry for this baby - being a girl makes it worse. “Miss Metallica Tomaro”. That’ll sound real nice when she comes up to accept her diploma. This baby is bound to be the laughingstock target at school. And she will grow up to be a messed up kid, dressed in black, lighting guitars on fire, spinning them around her head while screaming I’ll Kill ‘Em All!

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