Lindsay Lohan’s former bodyguard, Lee T. Weaver, finally spoke out about Lindsay’s wild and dangerous behavior during his guarding days, as well as how much she hates Jessica Simpson.

He tells News of the World:

I even saw her try to grope Mariah Carey’s bottom and boobs one night as they danced. Jessica [Simpson] was (sitting) with her pals and Lindsay became convinced she was shooting her dirty looks.  She jumped over the table and dived at Jessica, pulling her hair out. I had to pull her off her. I have looked after some of the wildest stars in Hollywood — but never anyone as out-of-control as Lindsay is. I lost count of the times I thought she was overdosing and had to carry her out of parties. Every morning I’d breathe a sigh of relief she was still alive.

Wow. This guy deserves a gold medal for what he’s put his life through. No one should be allowed to go near Lindsay Lohan because that’s more life-threatening than walking straight into a fire. In about 50 years, he can look back on this and tell his great grand-kids, “World War 3 was nothing compared to what I had to do. I’ve bodyguarded LINDSAY LOHAN” and all the kids would cover their mouth, grasp, and give him a standing ovation.