Charlie Sheen certainly has more serious issues than you think.

According MSNBC, Charlie apparently has a $6,000 full-sized, blowup doll that he uses to try to entice women to have foursomes with him. Gasp!

Apparently Charlie didn’t see anything wrong with his latex lady. An insider told the publication that he even brought her along to the “Spin City” set back in the day. But all that changed when Charlie offered a couple of real live women the chance for a foursome with him and his inanimate pal. “They couldn’t stop laughing at him,” the source told the Daily News. “Charlie got so mad that he ran the girls out of his house. Then he took a meat cleaver and chopped one of the doll’s hands off. He and his bodyguard tried to dispose of it, like it was a real body. They wrapped it in a blanket and drove around in the middle of the night till they found a dumpster.”

Wow this is disturbingly romantic. There’s nothing sexier than a man canoodling with a blowup doll that resembles his ex-wife and then using it to offer sex with other women. That Charlie Sheen is a real character. I can imagine him sitting there in court with Denise Richards. When the judge asks him why he wants to divorce, he’d say, “Denise didn’t let me play with my doll, so there!” then he’d stick his tongue out like a 5-year-old.