What is wrong with these pictures? Is there a rule in the Scientology book that says you become whom you marry? That after a few years you look more like twins than husband and wife? Or that you have to go everywhere looking like you just stepped out of a cloning experiment? OK maybe I’m just too naive here - but maybe Tom Cruise has a hard time … um, performing…unless he pretends Katie Holmes is a man dressed in a men’s suit complete with a male haircut. Wow, there’s so much I don’t understand about marriage.

Here’s freak show leaving the Hermes store in uptown Manhattan, New York: